Parents are undoubtedly figures that we consider most precious and important in our lives, for they have brought our existence to this world. With time and the everyday hassles of life, you may become busier and unable to be as attentive to your parents needs and health conditions as you once were. There is absolutely no reason to panic in such situation since you can submit them to capable caregivers. However, it is crucial for you to plan how to do this so that you and your parents are assured that they are receiving the much deserved love and care and most importantly feel comfortable being situated in such environment. It works best if you plan early enough so that you can avoid panicking as you try to get things together in a hurry.
You can take an approach of the following guidelines to how you can offer care to your parents without drastic measures that are likely to stress you or them out.
1) Prioritize aspects of their lives
A handful of people begin by discussing the money, estate and property matters when they realize that their parents are becoming incapacitated. Make sure that you do not stress your parents and yourself by prioritizing such matters over their health, well-being and comfort. Remember, to understand things from their perspective. Place yourself in their shoes and ponder, what would you like your kids to do for you? You can ask them for the will on their own terms when they are comfortable and have settled.
2) Gather all the information you need well in advance
Most causes for panic is that most people wait until their parents are incapacitated to ask the necessary questions. Asking multifarious questions in such short notice often ends up in stress and panic, as too much overwhelming information gets exchanged on both ends. Do not shy away from inquiring about the will, legal documents, any medication that they need for their financial situation. Ask these questions when your parents are still in good health so that it does not feel to them like you are pushing them towards the grave.
3) Be patient
They have been patient to raise you their entire life and have been there for you when needed. Do not force your parents into a care unit if they are not up to it yet. Do not have frustrated conversations with them because of lost patience because this will burden both you and them. Remember, understanding what they want comes before what you want. Encourage them and do not get tired of explaining to them why you feel it is important for them to have the care given to them.
4) Discuss the potential care giving strategy with them
Again, do not assume that what you want for your parents is what they want. Make a point of discussing the options with them so that you can both come to an agreement of what is best for THEM. Discuss the implications of assisted care of their lifestyle and their expectations from the caregivers. Remember, at around an age where a caregiver is needed, it is natural for your parents to have their daily routines and set schedules. Introducing a new entity to their lives may be a surprise to them – flexibility only comes with time and a good understanding through adequate communication.
5) Be a part of the caregiving process
No matter how busy you get, it is YOUR responsibility to give care to your parents when they are too old to do it themselves. If they are not under your roof, go to where they are to check on them and make sure that all is well. Talk to them frequently and assure them that you have not left them alone. Make sure that they get everything that they need in their last days…